We each have a top two or three ideas that we hold sacred and true.
What are values and why are they important?
Years ago, I struggled to find any level of self-connection. Frankly, I didn’t even understand any reason to pursue deeper connection with myself. My life was one of quick reaction and impulse. It seemed to me that I was choosing to live this way because it ensured that excitement (or danger) was pretty much around every corner.
What I understand now, is that my approach to life during time was a direct bi-product of having never investigated my top values in life.
So, what do I mean when I reference top life values?
We each have a top two or three ideas that we hold sacred and true. These are not ideas tied to our innate programming, but rather ones that live aligned with our higher selves. This is the part of us that truly seeks to contribute to this world in a unique way and to capitalize on this amazing human experience before us.
Most of us don’t know our own top values. And if you were to ask someone what their values are, upon some introspection, they may come up with something that sounds impressive. Often, this first attempt at casually identifying our values leads us to come up with something that we think we “should” say, or that we believe our partner or society as a whole would think “sounds good” for lack of a better term.
But the true investigation of values needs to be much deeper and help from a facilitator can be of massive benefit. There are ways to help identify values that steer clear of the “should” trappings and help us come up with what we truly value most.
So why is it so important to know our values?
So why is it so important to know our values? Many of us are like ships at sea – blind with no compass or guidance from the stars. We are at the whim of the wind and the currents. In this metaphor, I like to think of the wind and the currents as our deep wounding from childhood. We all have wounding. These are unresolved emotional wounds brought on by living life and interacting with parents and others in our lives. Wounding can also be tied to a physical accident or trauma of some kind. The events do not have to be “major” in our view to have lasting impact on our lives. As an example, if my father was a workaholic when I was growing up, then I may subconsciously choose a life partner who is the exact opposite. Then I may have frustration when my partner exhibits behaviors that I deem to be lazy and wonder why.
How do we find true north and get on track?
So, if our wounding is subconsciously guiding us around in circles in this vast ocean of life, then how do we find true north and get on track? That’s where values come into play. When we identify and live aligned with our highest values, they take over as our compass…our North Star. We are no longer adrift and can truly make progress in the direction that serves our life best and makes us feel inspired each day.
I encourage you to discover your own top values. Then filter each opportunity and relationship to see if it truly aligns. I encourage you to be unrelenting with this practice. Adopting this has fully transformed my life, and I am confident that with focus and time it will do the same for you.
Adam is a former Fortune 500 senior executive. He is a father, husband, student of life, and “self-awareness” transformational coaching leader.
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