Most of us struggle against reality and that is the cause of pain and distress in our lives.

At 44 years young, I am learning each day that some of the beliefs that I have held as “true” in my life are the farthest thing from the truth.

One of my teachers taught me a very important lesson. There are three kinds of businesses. My business, your business, and God’s business. Now when I say God’s business, it’s a general term. Call it nature, call it the universe, even call it random chaos if you like… whatever your belief system.

When I am deep in someone else’s business or God’s business, then I am not in my own business. And the only place I truly belong is in my own business. And I could even argue that I don’t belong there either.

Most of us struggle against reality and that is the cause of pain and distress in our lives. When we live in pain and distress, the hormone cortisol is released in our body. And this stress hormone can have devastating effects on our health and wellness. So, what do I mean by struggling against reality?

Let’s say my partner smokes, and I think that he or she should not smoke. Every single day I live in distress and in direct conflict with the reality of life when I believe that my partner should not smoke, yet each day the smoking continues.

I will give this next example in the context of my own life. I have two exuberant and energetic young children. My 8-year-old daughter just does not listen to me most of the time. That’s the reality. When I believe that she SHOULD listen to me, I am in direct conflict with the reality that she does not. And when I believe this to be true, I get stressed out and that stressful energy is picked up by my daughter and it creates a downward spiral.

Now, if she chooses to listen to me or not, that is her business. I could have a story that I’m her father and she should do what I tell her, but that’s just another limiting belief that can be dismantled upon deeper investigation.

So, when I begin investigating how true my belief is, I find that it’s just NOT TRUE that my daughter should listen to me. I can play with the original limiting belief statement by switching it around in different ways to get to this discovery. For example…

Vs. my original believe, it is actually truer that she should listen to HERSELF. I want her to grow up and become an empowered young adult and woman who trusts her voice and does not need to be told what to do in life by others.

It is also equally true if not truer that she SHOULD NOT listen to me…as I am not always right.

It is also truer still that I should listen to MYSELF. When I listen to myself in a deep way, I will know that holding true this original belief that “my daughter should listen to me” is only causing pain, stress and strain on my relationship with my daughter.

We have a choice… do we want to be “right,” or do we want to live in peace and have loving relationships? When we investigate our beliefs, we will learn that it is our uninvestigated thoughts that are causing us pain and frustration in life. When we dismantle these one by one, we can live inspired lives and deepen our relationship with self and others.